Today in youth sports, it is our parents, not the youth players, who are the main reason so many behavioral problems occur. Moms and Dads too often lose perspective not only of what’s important at these games, but also of what’s appropriate sideline behavior. So, parents, here’s a quick reminder of how grown-ups should behave at kids’ games.

 

1. Talk about the other kids on the team – indeed, on both teams – in the same manner you would want other parents to talk about your child. This is the golden rule applied to sports. Watching kids’ sports tends to be a social affair. When you’re making conversation on the sideline with your friends and neighbors, think about what you are saying before you actually say it. To always be on the safe side, only voice praise for the other children. That way, you’ll never go wrong.

 

2. It is important to congratulate the coach when the team wins. It is even more important that you thank the coach after a loss. Remember that the vast majority of coaches are volunteers who are sacrificing their own time to help your child. So give them a well-deserved salute, especially when their team hasn’t fared well that day.

 

3. Don’t hesitate to show the referee your appreciation for the job they do. As you might have guessed, referees are people, too. They take more than their share of abuse during the game – and deserve to hear from parents and fans acknowledging their on-field efforts as well. Please take the initiative and express your support.

 

4. Remind your child that it is the effort that counts. We know the kids want to win. That’s a given. But we also know that for every winning team, there’s also a runner-up. Be prepared to cushion your child’s disappointment after a loss by pointing out that he or she played hard and put forth a tremendous effort.

 

5. Avoid the post game anaysis. When the game is over and your child climbs back into your car, avoid at all costs the detailed, excruciating post game analysis of everything she did right and wrong. Just let her chill out, savor the fun of having played, and relax. The absolute worst time for “friendly criticism” is immediately after the game.

 

6. Smile. A LOT. Kids’ sports are about having fun, and because kids take their behavioral cues from you, try at least to look like you’re enjoying yourself.

 

7. Always be on your best behavior. If you are not a “good sport” at the games, the kids won’t be either. This should be self-event. If you set a pattern of being a sideline loudmouth who likes to yell and scream at the ref, coach or opposing team, don’t be surprised when your kids start copying your behavior. You will have only yourself to blame.

 

8. Take the time to learn the rules of the game.  Take a course on the rules. Become an Referee.

 

9. If you must make noise at the games, shout only praise and encouragement. If you’re a screamer and yeller, make certain that when you open your mouth, you’re only pouring forth cheerful encouragement for your child’s team. There’s never any place for derogatory, snide or sarcastic comments at kids’ games.

 

10. Above all, be there for your children. Support them, praise them, and let them know you can always be counted on for unconditional love, regardless of the final score.